5 Golden Tips That Will Make It Easier for Us to Connect with Emotions
When an emotion visits us, if we persistently hold it and don’t let it go, we let that emotion take over our body.
Disbanded Emotions
Just as everything that is irregular and unorganized goes off the air, they are prone to develop beyond our control when we cannot control our emotions. And when we can’t control our emotions, undesirable events can happen to us.
Well, let’s assume that you have been ruled by your emotions until now and you didn’t realize it until you read this article. Then right now, don’t you think it’s time to change something?
Do not believe in coincidences! There is no such thing as a coincidence, but you thought of something or an intention at that moment, and the information you wanted to became to your feet.
1. Learning to restrain your emotions
Our emotions correspond to what we feel in life. Can we then call emotions everything we can feel and think about?
We all go from one emotion to another throughout the day. Sometimes we wake up with good dreams, make a good start to the day, have a nice breakfast with delicious banana pancakes, turn on our favorite music, dance, get dressed, and get ready for work.
The mornings we wake up with such a scene of starting the day, of course, allow us to start the day well and we turn into someone who always smiles with the role of the happy woman in the same television commercials. What if we woke up to a morning where the opposite happened.
If we joined the endless dream vortex that we could not get out of, we tried to wake up, but every time we thought we woke up, we got into absurd events where the absurdities in the dream continue. Think about it, how can we wake up from such a dream and start the day happily?
Maybe we have seen our obligation to start the day happy only from commercials, TV series, and movies. Maybe we are not obliged to follow such an opinion or rule. Feeling happy and perfect all the time is a very difficult, even tiring feeling, don’t you think?
I used to believe that I should always look happy to everyone. And when someone asked me how are you today, I always say “I’m fine”. However, that day, I felt weak, broken, and bad. But since the perception that we should always be happy and always good is created, I see that everyone is hesitant to say that they have a problem.
Or even those who feel that they are bad or upset about something continue to pretend they are happy by hiding it. This was a mistake I once made.
2. Emotions don’t always have to make you feel good
Our emotions, our emojis that we use on social media, or our texts and pictures are all means of conveying emotions. That’s why we always see the same kind of emojis, pictures, and posts on some people’s social media accounts.
And right now, everyone on social media is acting like they’re happy all the time. I say pretend because I don’t think it’s possible for a person to be happy all the time.
Emotions are like running water in a river and are constantly changing.
When we see people who are happy every day on social media, we always question that emotional state — the state of being happy — why we don’t feel the same way. There is a perception as if being happy is a necessity. Sometimes we force ourselves to be happy, and when we can’t, we blame ourselves.
I even remember saying, “Have you been happy enough today, Buse!” What a motivational phrase!
The first thing we need to do is remember that we are human and learn to feel our emotions. I say remembering that we are human because the definition of being human is not “a being who can always be perfect and happy in any situation”.
I don’t know who created this definition. But everyone acts as if this is an unwritten rule that must be followed. Don’t listen to them! When we are constantly happy, how can we eagerly and desire to reach the next state of happiness? If I am constantly feeling happy, how can I tell when I feel truly happy?
3. Let the feelings transform and change
Our emotions have a constant path of change and transformation. An event that makes us very angry for a moment does not affect us as much as the moment we get angry a day or an hour later.
Because it is an emotion, it is lived and it ends. Then it turns into another emotion.
For example, our anger may turn into anger at the next stage. Then perhaps it will turn into relaxation. Maybe some think that I am doing myself a favor when we let the anger that comes from within us, so I should not get angry here.
You may also think that I overcame my anger and displayed a positive approach towards my surroundings.
For example, our anger may turn into anger at the next stage. Then perhaps it will turn into relaxation.
Maybe some think that I am doing myself a favor when we let the anger that comes from within us, so I should not get angry here. You may also think that I overcame my anger and displayed a positive approach towards my surroundings.
But no friends, I restrained that anger and did not let it come out of my body. Well, has this anger gone?
No, of course. Since I didn’t let him out, he came and went into a cafe and chose a place on my body as if he liked a place to sit and reserved it for himself. His place was even ready for his next visit!
Who knows, maybe every time I throw my anger inside, I’m just sending new friends to the other person. Have you ever thought like that?
Anger is just an example, any of many bad emotions; it can be sadness or resentment, it can be a feeling of disappointment or humiliation.
The bad and suppressed emotions that we throw inside can also be the cause of our diseases. Many sources explain this scientifically.
Letting an emotion come is guiding it to go. If we prevent emotion from coming and going, we allow it to live in our soul and body.
I share with you some examples of emotions that we do not allow to pass through our bodies and a few diseases they cause.
Here they are, and as long as we allow them, they will live in us and continue to be the cause of our ills.
• Anger: Earache, migraine, injuries (usually we injure the body in some way when we are angry), fever
• Fear, fear of living: overweight, loss of appetite, fainting, forgetfulness, tonsillitis, stomach ailments
• Worry: Indigestion, gastritis,
• Inability to assimilate the new, difficulty in accepting what has happened to them: Stomach ailments
• Stubbornness: Neck pain, tinnitus
4. Naming emotions makes them easier to embrace
Wouldn’t it be great if you could recognize your emotions when they come? For example, let’s assume that there is a feeling of embarrassment.
While speaking to a large audience, my voice was hoarse and I could not speak. And I was embarrassed. At this moment, this feeling of shame came to me and he said, “Hello, I am coming from within you.”
I said, “Hello, the feeling of shame is welcome. I know you’re here right now because I couldn’t help but make a mistake and because everyone started laughing, I was so angry and embarrassed.”
I know that everyone will go and tell their relatives about this incident today, maybe they will laugh together again later. Well, then? No one will ever remember. Just like that, no one will remember, not even me.
Imagine that we constantly remember every bad event we have experienced. How bad and boring would that be.
Fortunately, we humans are created to hardly remember what we ate yesterday. So we don’t have to worry.
We welcomed a bad feeling and greeted it nicely. He also did his duty and made us feel shame. When his mission was over, he left our body and mind.
I can almost hear you say, “Oh, it’s not that bad, just letting the feelings come”. It’s beautiful, easy, and free to try. Try it yourself and see the difference.
We can all be people who feel better, and we don’t have to constantly pursue happiness to feel that way.
5. Letting the emoitons pass
The strange thing about emotions is that when we resist them, they lose control over us. So only you can decide how much it will affect you. This is a choice.
By staying with emotion and approaching it with awareness and naming it, we become a recipient of it.
After a while, when that emotion comes to visit us, we experience the comfort of knowing what that emotion is while opening the door. As human beings, we tend to be afraid of things we don’t know.
If we define, classify, and even name an emotion, we can realize it’s coming. Everything that we approach with awareness is at the top of the category for us.
For example, my business did not go well, I could not find an empty parking space for my car, and on the second tour, when I found an empty place, someone came and parked it before me.
Yes, now I am very angry. I think for a moment and turn to myself and ask myself: What feeling is this?
I immediately call it “anger” and recognize it. Then I take a deep breath and focus on my breathing. I’m thinking ‘’what happened Buse, why are you angry now?’’
I was angry because I couldn’t find a parking spot, and when I found it later, someone else got in and parked before me, it was my right.
“Yes, Buse, this is a perfectly normal situation and you are right to be angry, anyone would be angry anyway” I suggest to myself.
And I add “You got angry and you had those emotions. These feelings have expired, Buse. Now you can move on to a new emotion.”
Because emotions come, crash, and go like water in an already flowing river. You just let it go!
After making my suggestions, I continue to live. I wonder what I will experience in my next adventure. Sometimes I wait eagerly and for the next second to see what emotion is showing on my stage now.
Because friends, no matter what we experience, not knowing what we will experience in the next second always throws us in the middle of an adventure.
Seeing life as a game increases our enthusiasm for life.
What adventures are you embracing today? For example, would you want to do something you’ve wanted for a long time, even if your body doesn’t want it, just because it’s in your heart?
Well, don’t you want to take a small step today to make it happen?
Stay loving yourself!
